Korean Girls React to Niki Minaj ‘Anaconda’ and What You Can Learn From It
Watch the below video. It’s about 10min long and is a great primer on Korean attitudes towards sex and sexuality. After you watch the video, listen to my commentary with McConnell where I highlight some of the most important aspects and point out a few things that you may have missed.
I’ll also give you some tips you can use next time you’re on a date with a Korean girl!
What You Can Learn About Korean Girls From This Video
*NOTE: You can find a transcript of this audio discussion below
Thanks for listening. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to shoot me an e-mail: Martin@Korea-Dating-Tips.com
I’ll have another interesting video and commentary for you soon so be on the lookout for that. And also, here is Brown Eyed Girls, “Abracadabra” as mentioned in the discussion:
Martin: This is Martin here and I’m with…
Martin: And you just watched Korean girls reacting Nicki Minaj, Anaconda. This video is, you know, I originally saw it about a year ago I guess, when it first came out or so. Just over a year ago and it has more than 3.3 million views. So it’s quite popular. And you know when I first saw this, I immediately sent it out to the guys. You were in the group chat when I posted it?
Martin: …to, you know, the guys in Korea. So I posted it to them because I thought it was really interesting look in to showing how Korea is about sex and sexuality. And it gives some really great insight.
Also the other aspect that I thought was really interesting and really valuable was the way the interviewer interacted with them, and drew the girls out to express themselves kind of honestly, or to express themselves, more honestly. I definitely feel like as it went on, later you got more genuine opinions from the girls.
So, a couple of things that I wanted to highlight about the video, is that first of all when you first watched the video, if you look at the girls facial reactions as they are watching it—you see a lot of, maybe disgust, they look kind of like they are disgusted or definitely a lot of shock, right? They look very surprised and very uncomfortable, they seem very uncomfortable watching it.
But when they talk about the video, most of them didn’t really seem that uncomfortable, when you actually hear what they thought about it right? And I think that’s pretty interesting and I feel, like really they know they’re being watched and so they have to react in a certain way to it. If they were watching it at home, by themselves, probably they wouldn’t have had those same facial reactions, right?
So, that’s the first thing, where Korean girls will react in the way that they think that they are supposed to react. So, definitely they will sort of respond not necessarily how they genuinely feel but in accordance with how, they are supposed to respond by what society has to say, so that’s one of the reasons why it’s very interesting to see how he asked them questions and how he interacted—the guy who makes these videos—the way he interacted with them in such a way to get them to open up more about their actual feelings.
So, if you listen to their actual feelings, you know most of them were like, yeah, I think it’s fine. There were like maybe two girls who said that they thought it wasn’t good because [the video] made women seem like sexual objects or something. But most of the girls, were like yeah, whatever, it’s fine.
McConnell: Yeah, I felt that way too. It’s interesting looking at this video or looking at the reaction video because I think that in, you know, in Western Society, we don’t really have this separation of the private person and the public person and so there is really only, you’re kind of expected to have one persona, which is I think kind of detrimental to mental health.
It causes this big problem and this is one of those things that’s really weird about Western culture, where there is kind of idea that the person you are at any given time should be congruent with who you are everywhere else. This idea doesn’t exist in Japan, in Korea.
Martin: And in China and South East Asia too.
McConnell: It’s totally okay to have multiple personas and actually, have you read the book, Steppenwolf?
McConnell: Okay so that book is really good because it talks about…so, Hermann Hesse is the author of that book—I think he was European, I think he’s from Germany, if I recall correctly, and he was heavily inspired by a lot of East Asian culture and so when he wrote this book, he was incorporating a lot of these ideas of East Asian culture and the protagonist in that book is a Western man who has this issue where he has these two different sides of his personality and it’s very hard for him to deal with both of those sides and the one hand he’s a very kind, sort of meek person and on the other hand, he’s very angry and aggressive and he can’t consolidate, these two personalities, it causes them all this trauma.
And eventually he comes to realize that he doesn’t just have 2 personalities but he has all these different ones. It’s not just this kind of binary thing, he has all these different personalities and his persona is very, very deep and it’s totally varied. That’s an idea that is present in a lot of Asian culture where you’re not just one thing or you’re not just 2 things but you have all these different ways that you’re supposed to interact depending on the situation.
Martin: Right! And really what you were just saying about having different parts of you, more recently, in psychology and developmental to psychology, they talk about how that’s basically how the human brain develops. It’s composed of different parts that have different proclivities, you could say.
So, you know there is like, the reward seeking side of you or the side of you like the part of your brain that’s reward seeking but then there’s a part of your brain that is risk adverse and wants to protect you and there’s a balance there and they you know you have all these different aspects and I think, in the West, we feel the need to have a balance among those that is the same in every aspect of our lives or in every sphere of our lives, whereas in Asia they feel comfortable having one aspect of their personalities really dominant in one sphere and in then another sphere have a totally different aspect of their personality be dominant and so I think that’s what you see a lot with what you were saying about the public persona and the private persona.
So, you can be a very different person in each of those places and that’s really important because a lot of guys when they are with a Korean girl and maybe they’re on the first date or on a second date or something and then he will like try and hold he hand or they will try and like kiss her or hug her or something like that and she’s push them away and the guy thinks that it means she’s not interested but they are not taking into account the environment.
Whereas in the West it’s like, well, if you like me then it doesn’t matter if there is people around, we should be able to hold hands or we should be able to kiss because we care about each other, we love each other that much, or whatever it is but in Asia it’s not like that. It’s like, that’s just not appropriate behavior in a public place. So, you just don’t do it and that’s that.
I think that, so that throws a lot of guys off. You know, I think that there’s the other aspect which is the…there is this over arching theme of how there was never a sexual revolution in Asia, right? So, in Korean there was no sexual revolution. They didn’t have a liberalization of, or a sudden liberalization of sex and sexuality in the way that the west had. Now they have been influenced by the west for sure and you know that’s definitely true but there wasn’t like some sudden change.
So, you know, Korea is still a lot more conservative than the west is. You know, abortion is illegal in Korea, officially I mean, unless there very specific circumstances. You know the rate of contraception, you have birth control pills, birth control pills is only like 2.5% versus like 16% in the US.
People still largely frown on pre-marital sex, women often feel that they should be virgins when they get married or you know, Korean guys don’t like the idea that their girlfriend is experienced, they want her to be, you know, pure and virginal. And at a much higher rate because obviously there are people like this in America, we’re not talking about absolutes here, we’re just talking about degrees. And so women don’t think that they should be displaying their sexuality.
Many times in the video the women said, “oh you know, she’s really putting it out there, she’s coming across as easy or cheap, or something like that.” Which in the West if a girl wants to come across that way then that’s sort of you know her sexual empowerment. And then there was the one girl who was saying that in Korean, in the summer time if you dress too revealingly then you know people will judge you and actually last year, two years ago, there was like a new law that you can get fined about the equivalent of $50US for dressing too provocatively, they can just fine you.
I don’t know how widely this is actually been enforced but I was reading about this and in the 60s, in the 70s, they actually banned miniskirts. It was like a law that you could have a skirt that was 20cm above the knee or shorter. So, you see, that’s totally the reverse of what was happening in America in the 70’s. So I think those are things that is really important to understand, that when you’re dating a Korean girl, that her ideas of sex and sexuality are not that she should be necessarily comfortable with it or open about it or you know feeling like she can display that side of her in public because even if the girls, like there was the one girl who, like she said that she drooled when she first saw [Niki Minaj].
I’m a big fan of that girl. If any of you know her, send her my way, she’s my kind of girl. So she first was like, “no, it’s not sexy I don’t like it,” and then she’s like, “actually, it was too sexy, I almost drooled,” when [the interviewer] sort of pushed her a little bit and I think that’s really common about the way [Koreans] feel about sex, sexuality. They are very conservative about being judged.
So when they can see that they weren’t been judged so they can be more opening and honest.
One interesting thing that they said was that the interviewer said, there is big focus on asses here, and you know what about in Korea, what do Korean guys care about and all the girl said, “they care about breasts,” “they care about breasts,” “they care about breasts,” but it’s ironic because when you look at the examples they used in the Kpop and also when I’ve looked at Kpop occasionally, just because I’m very interested in music not to look at the girls of course. Despite the fact that, you know, they all said that Korean guys really like breasts, there is no focus on breasts, right? In Korea how often do you see girls showing cleavage?
McConnell: Yeah that’s true.
Martin: And in fact I would even say that in Korea, even girls showing like shoulders is pretty rare. So, that’s another thing that’s very interesting is, you know, they were saying Korean guys like breast but that’s not what’s emphasized in Kpop at all, it’s like legs and one girl was talking about the ‘V’ shape and sort of accentuates the crotch area and so yeah…do you have anything else that you want to add?
Martin: Alright great, so below this I’m also going to post a video of another video called Abracadabra by Brown Eyed Girls. So, that’s a great example of a Kpop video. So I’m going to post that and you can have a look at that and you can see that was really really super popular Korean video. It’s quite old now but it was like really popular when it came out. And then soon enough I’m going to send you another video and we’ll have another discussion with more interesting insights into Korea. So thanks a lot for joining us and see you guys soon.